My boss began our meeting stating that someone had made some complaints about me. The specifics don't matter here but they were lies. And after, I couldn't get over the fact that while I was blissfully and ignorantly enjoying my vacation, someone was making trouble. Suddenly, as I looked at my boss, things became crystal clear. The weeks before I was increasingly bewildered by the behavior of a young woman in my office. Oddly enough, I had something to do with her hiring and yet, she had begun to check my work. At first, it was a distant bell but as I sat across that conference room table, the bell began to clang. This young woman had my boss' ear because she was whip-smart, albeit destructive and maligning. I often felt insecure around her and didn't know why. And as many victims of bullies do, I felt a rush of humiliation. As I sat there, I became acutely aware of my pinned flower. And I felt foolish.
Sometimes I come across that velvety flower which I never wore again. Now when I have the urge to adorn a sweater, I often reach for a sparkly brooch. I am lucky to have a few of my grandmother's and I've added to my collection with pieces from antique shops and boutiques. They are so wonderfully arresting, like dazzling stars in a dark winter sky. And they have a nice retro appeal. I think it takes a special woman to wear an eye-catching brooch with ease - a woman who believes in herself enough to festoon her soul with something celestial and otherworldly. A little luminous astral glint which marks her spot in the world and says, "Yes, I am someone to be seen. And I am not foolish".
Fortunately, the bully was eventually remanded and removed and I am not completely unhappy that it happened to me. I learned a lot about myself and I toughened up. I had been too trusting at work and certainly needed lessons in the vagaries of peoplehood - not everyone is kind.
My sister gave me a sparkly midnight blue pin and it looks just like one in the picture above. It reminds me of the astonishing night sky. And just as I see the stars above...when I wear my pin, I believe they see me too.