Saturday, July 25, 2015
Summer Skies and Lullabies
As we await the delivery of wedding photographs, we are reminiscing about our happy day. Sunday morning dawned with smokey fog but by noon, the skies peeled back to reveal a lovely Wedgewood blue - the color that transforms objects into something heavenly, as if one has put on rose-colored glasses. More than once, I felt a catch in my throat - and a longing for something ...more time...more lullabies...a little girl and her dolly...and for other lives no longer overlap ours. I also had the sensation of being carried around on a cushioned bed of serenity and happiness. It was my daughter's wedding day!
I remember the rows of white chairs as we strolled down the aisle of our cloistered grotto. The hydrangeas bowed their heavy heads and the hibiscus danced a shimmy at the whispering sea breezes. My daughter's ivory dress suddenly seemed so bright and fresh in the sunlight, the meaning of it so clear...her perfection, her youth, her joy...and all her hopes for the future represented in the chiffon flower, the encrusted pearls, the simple net veil. Her golden locks were smoothed out and shiny, skin perfect. At the simple altar, rosebud lips - the same ones I fretted over so worriedly in a hospital isolate so many years ago - whispered "I love you forever, Mom". She released my arm with a squeeze and I took my place.
The ceremony was simple and hushed and over way too fast - a promise, a ring, a kiss...no drama or hype - no fuss - so very like her. I watched them pass by to "Here Comes the Sun" but at the end of the aisle, they stopped and waited for me. Together we three wrapped our arms about each other and smiled into sets of brimming eyes. And then, my new son murmured something only I heard: "She's safe... you don't have to worry anymore". Oh young man, if you but only knew...
The flashbacks have stopped at last. I am clearing out her room and spreading out my life. When I went to bed that first night there was a card nestled beside my pillow. On one side was her love letter and on the other, the instructions for changing the time on my clock radio - something I never got the hang of.
More beauty, fashion, books, art, and life posts coming up...back to my usual musings soon!